Mama Says

i walk into you, waiting for you to embrace me
each time swallowing air
breathing in the cold air

i walk out into you
and each time am awestruck by how i feel
present

i hold in my memory the moment that i fell in love with you
it was february
i was walking across bricks
wrapped tightly in you
the night was dark
black
cold sharp against my cheeks
the cold was so sharp
and i was so alive
i can remember never feeling that alive before
it was then as my feet touched the snow covered bricks
that i fell deeply in love
there was no turning back

that was almost Long Ago now
when i was in college
when i first discovered how alive i felt when wrapped up in you

soon after that, you tempted me
lured me
led me here
to vermont where you run wild
where i continue to discover you

you catch me and take my breath away
sending me into deep awareness of my breath
taking me deeper and deeper into the moment

each time, you catch me

take my breath away

and i breath deeper still

you bring me peace
you bring me calm
time        slows      down
when i am wrapped up in you

absorbed by
the intricate beauty of each snowflake
that lays against my car on the coldest of days
drawing me to admire nature’s jewels adorning the green metal

fascinated with
water frozen yet fluid
in icicles
the spear stands still but cannot be created without movement
when light hits an icicle just right....
it is pure magic
the beauty of a strong row of icicles fills me with joy
without thinking
pure joy

and the woods....
the magical world i enter when i glide into or step into
when i venture into the forest
i am instantly transported
i am in another universe, timeless and fantastic
glittering feathers fall gently over me
decorating me
falling snow covers what is already beautiful, this earth
changing the natural world, disguising it
beauty on beauty

exploring the forest blanketed in snow
only pulls me deeper into love
pulls me deeper into pure essence
allowing for my soul to hover in a place
between reality and magic
creating a space within me that completely transcends
thought

there are all these things
all these things that i love....

the icy patterns on old windows
feathering and fern like

wind blowing the soft top layer of snow
off of anything
the landscape, a rooftop...
creating incredible curls, like ocean waves across the sky

ice covering stones in a stream
ice covered limbs on trees struck by morning sunlight
rivers becoming jade green
drum rolls of cracking ice
sunrise created rainbows on peaks of mountains
slow falling snow under a street lamp...drifting....drifting....

and then there is that something special
i think you reveal only to me...
when you breathe softly on a tall pine
the bough moves just enough
and
the sun might shine just so
illuminating
new fallen snow that floats so delicately through the air
revealing fairies, golden fairies
drifting slowly to the earth

i become suspended in this illumination of magical moment
realizing that it is not this moment
yet there is no other moment
i am never more aware of
essence
energy
in this light, i am never more aware of oneness with this universe

so often I stop
to watch snowflakes fall
to watch these magical crystals be carried by an invisible hand
to be placed just so on this earth

exhilaration and peace
in winter

An excerpt of this poem is featured in the Spring 2011 issue of Mama Says Zine